I am sharing a paragraph from Horgeneral. Note: Orgeneral is the highest rank in the Turkish army. I added the first syllable of the word despised, creating a new word, both of which are written as orgeneral and horgeneral in Turkish.

An offer!

I can give a share of my copyright to anyone who gives me the email addresses of publishing houses, believe me, I am not an ordinary writer, I am a real philosopher, despite the quality of my style, I write in a gripping way, I put the reader into a coma of laughter in many of my paragraphs.

Ayna, dön bak aynaya

Ayna Boney M'in Rasputin şarkısını dön bak aynaya diye Türkçeye uyarlamış, resmen araklamış.

Cep telefonunda saatlerce çeviri yaptığım için elimde tutmamak için çare araştırdım, A-101'de satılan baharat saklama kabını aldım, galiba mükemmel olacak.

I am sharing a paragraph from Horgeneral. Note: Orgeneral is the highest rank in the Turkish army. I added the first syllable of the word despised, creating a new word, both of which are written as orgeneral and horgeneral in Turkish.

Emekliye altı ay için yüzde 15 civarı zam yapıyorlar, yani gerçek enflasyonun üçte birini veriyorlar. Ankara'da suya zam yapılmış, belli ki şarkıcıların konserlerine harcanan servet nedeniyle para suyunu çekmiş.

Sokakta gördüğüm hayvanlarla çocuklara mutlaka selam veriyorum, bugün bir köpeği selamladım, kuyruk salladığı için başını okşadım, tatlı sözler mırıldandım, benden ayrılmadı, sahilde epey turladık, dört köpekten oluşan bir sürü de yanımıza geldi, koklaştılar, derken ilk karşılaştığımız yere geldim, bir tesise daldım, başka taraftan çıktım, izimi kaybettirdim ama içim cız etti, öyle bir köpeği sahiplenmek için her şeyimi feda edebilirim, maalesef yerim, yurdum yok, gece gündüz çeviri yapıyorum, kitaplarımı İngilizce olarak yurt dışında yayınlatmayı ve kalıcı vize alıp Türkiye cehennemini terk etmeyi planlıyorum. En sevdiğim tür olan Jack Russell kırmasıydı, erkekti, küpeliydi, son derece akıllıydı, hala onu düşünüyorum, bayağı sarsıldım. 👇

Baklava çıkacak hem de mükemmel olacak. Bugünkü antrenman bitimindeki durum böyle, yanılıyorsam söyle!

Bir yayınevi eserin kalitesi nedeniyle masrafını karşılarsan basarız demeye utanıyor. Şimdilik kendimi çeviriye verdim, aylarca didineceğim, tüm kitaplarımı çevirince yayıncı arayacağım, son aylarda dünyadan koptum. 👇

Ali Koç'un dört büyükler karnesi

Bluesky

Bluesky adlı bir platform duydum, eski twitter yöneticileri tarafından kurulduğunu öğrenince hesap açtım.

Kaliforniya'da 7.0 şiddetindeki depremde can kaybı ve hasar olmamış, o şiddette bir deprem bizde olsaydı ciddi yıkım yaşanırdı. Demek ki kader diye bir şey yok!

Yabancı yayınevine ulaşmak çok zordu, toplamda dördü dosyanı gönder demişti, birisi de tırtıkçı çıktı, beni keriz zannediyor, basım masrafını karşılamamı istiyor, üstelik servet istiyor. Siz bana para vermelisiniz, dedim, irtibatı kestim. Aslında ilk günden adresimi istemesinden niyetlerini anlamıştım. Sözleşme metni diye gönderilen soygun belgelerini paylaşıyorum. 👇

Borsa bugün güya yüzde 0.60 yükseldi ama çoğu hisse düştü. Erdoğan devrinde reel kazanç imkansız demeyeyim, yorumu size bırakayım.

Çeviriler nedeniyle kendimi ödüllendirdim

Enflasyon düşmüyor, iktidar değişmiyor, borsa U30'daki belli hisselerle yukarı çekiliyor. Erdoğan ile olmuyor, 22 senede Türkiye hayli geriledi, fakirleşti. CHP de iyi bir alternatif değil, demek ki ilelebet sürüneceğiz. Enflasyonu düşük açıklıyorlar, ücretli ve memurun maaşına az zam yapılıyor, bütçeye kaynak yaratılıyor, yani çarçur edilen para memura, işçiye, emekliye fatura ediliyor.

Gazilerle Niyaziler (it means veterans and those who died in vain)

We said it was necessary on the passenger road, and threw ourselves into the canyon full of windings. We were going to defend the homeland with young workers who flew like partridges in the scrubland, who hopped like antelopes, but whose citizenship was forgotten except when they were preparing their tax returns; while the patriots who were resting in their mansions on the Bosphorus after the previous night's prostitution, entertainment and all the pleasures they were addicted to were stretching themselves stupidly. When they fought for sovereignty, the homeland belonged to the farmers and workers, when it came to the cream of the crop, the homeland belonged to the bankers, I had never bothered about this reality until that moment. (Gazilerle Niyaziler, it means Vveterans

Birinci ayın sonunda durum böyle oldu, baklavaları dilim dilim dilimleyeceğim, 13.05.2025'de 60 yaşına gireceğim, o gün yine fotoğraf çekeceğim.

A paragraph from Gazilerle Niyaziler

I don't want to trivialize words like bombastic writers, I don't want to describe our breathing, our steps, etc.; since they have nothing to say, they take refuge in the mask of style, they increase the abundance of ornate sentences, they trite the description. I am not ungrateful, so I don't mean Western Bloc writers; fancy sentences reinforced with parentheses are a disease specific to Easterners, even if they think they are modern, Turkishness has permeated them everywhere.

1 Aralık 2024

Üç aylık maaşım

Üç aylık maaşımı aldım, 56 263.54 tl olmuş, öncekine göre 97.34 tl azalmış, oysa hastaneye gitmedim, neden kesinti yapıldığını anlayamadım. TÜİK'in inandırıcı olmayan enflasyon rakamlarıyla ücretlilerin ve emeklilerin maaşları azaltılıyordu, herhalde ilave vergiler icat edilmiş. Aylığım 18 754.513 tl, 540.631 USD oluyor, ye ye bitmez!

Dua Lipa, Levitating Featuring Dababy

The chorus seems to be taken from the Bee Gees' song "Stayin Alive", it reminded me of that song.

Sucuk oldular

27.11.2024

Ömrümce aşağıdaki çita gibi hareket ettim, ders çalışsaydım belki Türkiye birincisi olabilirdim

Bir yarış için bir çitayı ve köpekleri ayrı ayrı hazırladılar. Ama yarış günü çita yarışmak istemedi. Fotoğrafta köpekler ile çita arasındaki hızlı yarış görülüyor. Amaç kimin en hızlı olduğunu görmekti. Çitanın yerinden kıpırdamamasına herkes şaşırdı. Yarış koordinatörüne ne olduğunu sorduk. Bu resmi gördükten sonra şu cevabı verdi: Bazen çok iyi olan en iyi olduğunu kanıtlamaya çalışmak hakarettir. Gücümüzü göstermek için başkalarının seviyesine inmemize gerek yok. Dikkatli düşünün ve enerjinizi yapacağınız şeye saklayın. “Çita hızını yalnızca avlanmak için kullanır, köpeklere en hızlı ve en güçlü olduğunu kanıtlamak için değil." National Geographic World..

I will send an e-mail to foreign publishing houses like this

Two paragraphs from my second humorous novel, the veterans and those who died in vain (Gazilerle Niyaziler)

Despite the north wind, I was as hot as a seagull chasing after its prey. If my best friend hadn’t said, “There’s Ms. Sengul, there,” I would never have guessed that the acupuncturist Emel-looking, jacketed, gathered-skirted and stylish lady could be our dietician. The strikingly beautiful beauty had a lace magazine in her hand, so she was skilled at crocheting lace and interested in different motifs in sewing; the budgie tattoo on her left wrist had faded. A Kamasutra book or a book explaining Taoist sex techniques would suit a monument of clothing of this caliber. I call her a woman like pith; she was bursting with lewdness, striking figure, polished nails, kohl-painted eyelashes, and especially her pink lipstick. I should have prostrated myself before the engineer who designed the rare lip pencil. The swaggering babe had more than the frivolous concubines of the Ottoman palace, she had no less; a man who would seduce her would have to eat mesir paste every day. There was not a gram of excess fat on her firm body, but I will not speak in advance, as I have never seen her naked. She was in her early thirties, brown, with luscious wavy hair hanging down to her waist, her manicure and pedicure were perfect, her sex appeal was pushing the limits, she was wearing a seductive blouse, her breasts looked like anti-aircraft missiles and could excite even mad dervishes. I had become mentally ignorant with the lust of a well-groomed quail. She saw us too, smiled friendly, her thighs jiggled as she approached us. “Hello,” I said, “Honey, where have you been? I was looking for you,” she replied. She looked me in the eye as if she were going to eat me. Her gestures were so informal that I thought sportsman Metin had slept with her many times. I said to Ali Kemal, “Anyway, sift the valuable documents, let our worthless jewel gain value,” meaning you can go now, and I winked at him without letting her know. “Yes, Ms. Sengul, I am listening,” I said, but the airy woman replied, “Come on, let’s meet in my room.” I followed the dietician who was leading the way, may I be sacrificed for the magnificent curves of her hips, she was swaying like a city line ferry sailing in the south-west wind. When we got to the room, my blood pressure had skyrocketed, my pulse was around 150 beats per minute, “Just keep your shorts on, can you lie down on your back here,” she said. I said to myself, “What a strange thing this is, the woman is really into sex, she is really horny, she is going to hurry up the crack, she is going to scratch my balls with my dick. I will take off my underwear like I am peeling off a banana peel, so she can see what it means to dress with a low-cut dress,” and I lay down on my back. The attractive woman gave the impression of a typical saxophonist, I thought she would take off her bustier in a minute and we would fuck, but I was wrong. She attached some cables to my feet, I don't know if they were copper, wire or plastic. I thought the insatiable woman was a masochist, that she used me as a test bed, that she would give me a current to satisfy her perverted passions, and that she would whip me later, but I was wrong in my guess. About a minute passed, "I weighed the analyzer result, your body fat percentage was twelve percent last time, now it's down to eleven percent. There is no doubt that you are balanced with vegetable oil, your photogenic appearance confirms this, you look wiry, congratulations,” he said. “You are a dick enthusiast, you are becoming a bitch, if you had lice in the mountains, you would be skinny,” I couldn’t say; “I follow the program consisting of carbohydrate, protein, mineral combination to the letter, thanks to you I am as thin as a carbine,” I flattered. There was a trick in my nature, I was still hoping that we would make love, that I would probe her very tight vagina. My manners do not allow me to say how vulgar I have become, but as a clue, I will say, “It is a Chinese thing, a Japanese thing, two people doing this, one male, one female, plug and play, finish the job,” so that the wise can understand, and let them mate in jacuzzis with geishas who are not resistant.

Hoppala!

Unbelievable things are happening!

I will be sixty in six months, I am currently doing the most important work of my life, I am working more intensively than ever, as if I am disconnected from the world, I live in another world and I am racing against time. When I translated my first book into English, I went crazy with joy, because it was a utopian goal for me, I did not waste time looking for a publisher on the internet, I started translating the second one, I am going full speed ahead, I will not stop until I translate all seven into English, then I will write the projects in my notes in English. My final goal is to settle abroad and have my books published in foreign languages, then I will not worry even if I die.