Cumartesi, Haziran 21, 2025

Attention all publishers!

Dear publisher, I am the writer Şenol Onay, born in Çorlu in 1965, I have seven books published in Turkey; I have translated three of my satirical novels and three of my essays into English on my own in nine months, I am looking for a publisher. I know that I have to fly side by side with a swallow from Istanbul to London to attract the attention of a publishing house, so I started training. Let me give you information about my books in chronological order. Horgeneral: Orgeneral is the highest rank in the Turkish army, I used the first syllable of the word to be seen as designed, that is, “hor”, I invented a new and striking word, everyone who hears it smiles. Although my autobiographical novel, narrated in the first person, has a universal perspective, I specifically criticized Turkey, and although it is fictional, most of the anecdotes actually happened. My second novel, Gazi ile Niyaziler, tells the adventures of two men who are twin brothers. Gazi means veteran, Niyazi means "one who dies in vain" in Turkish. Metin is the national team's center forward, Çetin is the staff captain, strange things happen, they change places, the football player goes on an operation in military uniform, the officer plays football as a center forward. My third novel, Errorist, tells the memories of a swindler. My hero Anıl earns a lot of money through fraud, and forms a gang of seven people, including the criminal swindler who manages him. Among these Errors, who are individuals of the Errorism ideology, are a mathematics professor, a retired officer, a female doctor, a journalist girl and another Nicaraguan living in Turkey. I invented the name of my book of essays too, I changed the word "vizier", which was the grand vizier of the Ottoman Empire, to "reziliazam", giving it a meaning like the greatest of the reprobate. It contains topics such as literature, politics, philosophy, economy, stock market, terror, animals, sports. Deliminator also consists of essays, I invented the word, I was inspired by Terminator, it means the person who drives people crazy. I also explained a lot of topics in my essays called Paramator, this word evokes the meaning of money creator. I designed the cartoon covers of all my books, I had them drawn by famous cartoonists, I can use the same composition again by having someone else draw it. I can send you whichever of my books you want to read. I wish you healty years.

Perşembe, Haziran 19, 2025

Yer bulmalıyım

Kafamda kırk tilki dolaşıyor, ev aramak kolay değil, ayrıca her taşınma ağır masraf yaratıyor, emlakçı dahi tırtıklıyor. Kaliteli daire daha boşalmadan müşteri buluyor, emlakçıya dandik yerler düşüyor. Dengeli beslenebileceğim yer olmalı, orduevi şart, dışarıda yemek çok tehlikeli, tavuk vs gıdalarda sık sık zehirleniyorum. Burada askeri gazino var, ilk geldiğimde klasik yemek servisi vardı, bir iki ay sonra sadece ızgara çıkarıldı, öğlen ve akşam Adana kebap yahut ızgara köfte sunuluyor. Yılın her günü bu menüye talim edilir mi? Polisevi var, yemekleri fena değil ama akşam yemeği yok, ayrıca çoğunlukla kemikli tavuk çıkarılıyor, bana et lazım, kemiği ne yapayım? Spor salonunda da sorun yaşadım, berbat yerlere boşuna para ödedim, evde antrenman yaptım, geçen hafta ilk kez kaliteli bir salona üye oldum. Yurt dışına gidilmiyor, vize alamıyorum. Kafamda birkaç yer var, fakat orada ev bakarken nerede kalacağım? Orduevinde bana bir iki günlük yer verilir, acele aramayla sonuç alınmaz. Taşınmalıyım, ancak nasıl?

@messiofsatire

Twitter'da @horgeneral hesabımı senelerdir kullanmıyordum, yeni sahibiyle x adını aldıktan sonra tadı kalmamıştı, aşırı baskı uygulanıyordu, geçenlerde hesap açayım dedim, çok zorlandım, herhalde yazsam başım belaya girer. 🤭 Orada da hesabım bulunsun, belki lazım olur, kullanıcı adımı @messiofsatire yaptım.

What will happen?

Hope connects people to life. I send e-mails to hundreds of publishing houses, I say I translated my three satirical novels and three essays...