Sunken Turkey

I have never seen such a high cost of living in my life; some people have become terribly rich, while the overwhelming majority have become poor.

Jewelers know the value of gold

Because of the anti-democratic system in Turkey, I worked on English to death, improved my vocabulary, and finally got to the point where I could translate my works. When my books are published in a foreign language, everyone will understand what a swamp this country is. I am not claiming, I am shouting the truth: I am by far the best Turkish writer of all time, and also the best satirist. Jewelers know the value of gold, I did not bother to translate for nothing.

Ağırlık antrenmanının faydası

Kırklareli'nde ev sahibi evi satılığa çıkardı, keriz bulamayınca İstanbul'dan babası gelmek istedi, hiç ısrar etmedim, her şeyde hayır vardır dedim, çünkü mahrumiyet bölgesine benziyordu, imkanları yetersizdi, o nedenle spor salonu üyeliğimi yenilemedim, İstanbul'da sadece yürüyüş fırsatı buldum, derken bir buçuk senelik aradan sonra 29 Ekim 2024 salı günü ağırlık antrenmanına başladım, bugün, 2 Kasım 2014 cumartesi günü semeresini gördüm, nizami 14 barfiks çektim. Kırklareli'nde 16 barfiks çekiyordum, bence daha fazlasını da başaracağım, bomba gibi bir vücutla hicret edeceğim.

Hazine sıfırı tüketmiş olmalı ki vergi sürekli artırılıyor, yeni vergi icat ediliyor. Verginin vergisi olsn stopaj 2.5 puan daha artırılmış, net getiri kuşa dönmüş. Elbet TÜİK rakamlarıyla memur ve emekliye iyilik (?!) yapılır. 👇

I will go to Kenya to listen to such songs, even if I am eaten by crocodiles or lions, I will not be sad, I will find solace in the songs I listen to.

https://youtu.be/y6iMvNkAQt4?si=kr3P-vLLhi1IgTPq

We are cowards

We Turks think of ourselves as very brave, but we are cowards, even in a fight we do not dare to fight one-on-one and on equal terms, we attack in groups or use cutting, piercing, firearms. Fighting is primitive, let's forget that, we can't criticize people with positions or money, we can't express our ideas that contradict the official ideology. Europeans do not resemble us, a seventy-year-old woman can stand up to a big mafia man, and besides, Magna Carta and the French Revolution prove that they are millions of light years away from us. I am translating my books into English, then I will find a publisher, probably get a permanent visa, live among people I resemble, write until my last breath, read the books I was deprived of because of censorship.

We must find another leader

Turkey will definitely go to early elections, the more we delay, the more damage will be done. We must get rid of Erdoğan, we must find another leader. I can't write about Turkey's economic situation because there is no freedom of expression. Turkey has not seen a worse leader than Erdoğan.

We should go to early elections

Turkey is governed very badly, a more talented government can be formed from any high school. Early elections are necessary but the current damage can't be repaired.

If Turkey can regress, I consider it to have progressed.

Ecevit, Demirel, Erbakan, whom we constantly criticize, were much better than today's leaders. Turkey was governed so badly that if we could go back 25 years, I would consider that we have progressed a century.

29 Ekim 2024

Bir buçuk senedir ağırlık antrenmanlarına ara vermiştim, çünkü Kırklareli'nde ev sahibi evi önce satılığa çıkarttı, sonra İstanbul'daki babası yerleşmek istedi, lümpenle muhatap olmama prensibim gereğince göçebe hayatı sürdüm, burada da uygun ortamı bekledim, bugün altı aylık ücreti peşin ödedim, karın kası hayalimi gerçekleştirmek için ilk adımı attım. Cenabıtotem niyaz eylerse 13 Mayıs 2025'de altmış yaşında olacağım, o günkü görünümümü burada paylaşacağım. Şu anda İngilizce çeviri ve egzersize odaklandım, borsa dahil her şeyi arka plana attım. Destur de ya iblis!

Serinledi havalar, bana kaldı buralar!

A PARAGRAPH FROM HORGENERAL

The picking was over, the shepherds were sorted and pulled, the creaking of the gurgling engines had stopped; the new crop of hazelnuts was being mixed and dried on tarpaulins and linoleums spread out in the threshing floors. My toothless uncle rode around like a horse in his navy blue jeans and noiseless boots during the day, he took his radio with him at night, which broadcast with interference, he slept on the canopy and protected the crop with his rust gun. We were enjoying a barbecue on an evening when cicadas were chirping and frogs were squealing, we were fanning the glowing salmon, we were eating the ground meat pitas we had roasted, when a pure white ghost appeared, making squeaky sounds like a metal object. My uncle Idris, whom my father called my wicked brother, was soldering the tools; he, my unqualified aunt and their lice-infested children ran away screaming, sparking coal pieces and tongs scattered around. I approached the image with a childish lack of anger and in a very calm manner. The creature in the form of a ghost had thrown a white sheet over itself, put its arms around the raised part, looped it and became scary, it was constantly moving, made strange gestures at me, supposedly to scare me, I responded calmly, even grabbed my left wrist from under with my right palm like a basketball referee making a deliberate foul signal, challenged the ghost by moving my fisted left arm up and down from my wrist. The fishermen call this rudeness a blasphemy. The ghost had come face to face with a fearless fighter; I realized that he was sweating like he had seen a dragon and that his face had turned to lime, I threw myself on him and knocked him down. The person dressed in white sheets and playing so animatedly was the renegade Mesut. Consequently, the reckless Ekrem defeated the trickster Mesut. They called Mesut the postman because of his espionage; when the trickery of the swindler was revealed, he became a laughing stock, and from that day on, his name became the Hortlak. I understood the situation when the field mouse that haunted the warehouses was exposed; those who said that the demons were real were plotting.

👏🙏🫢🫣🧿

When I started writing, I had determined foreigners as my target audience, I had contacted countless translators, they said they would not interfere with finding a publishing house, they wanted 10-15 thousand pounds and euros per book. I had been reading English novels for years, I was aiming to increase my repertoire to 70-80 thousand, I did not dare to translate, I started recently, I was astonished, I am translating in a way that I could not imagine, if I can publish it and reach the masses, extraordinary developments can happen. Well, I have no financial expectations, if I could settle in a modern country, I would even live in a doghouse, I would realize my literary projects one by one. I literally went crazy, I even deleted the stock market from the notebook, I am as excited as I was in primary school, because I had felt blind, deaf and mute since birth, now I have entered a slave mode with the hope of liberation from captivity, my feelings can't be explained, they must be experienced.

What do foreigners say about Turks?

I wonder what foreigners think about Turks? Do they say that we are an intelligent, honest, hardworking, reliable, honorable, characterful, knowledgeable, peace-loving, science-loving, thought-producing race? Has a survey been conducted on this subject?

Demek ki futboldan anlamayan iş adamları rantiye yüzünden başkanlığa hevesleniyorlarmış. Beşiktaş harici kulüplerde neler olduğunu anca cenabıtotem bilebilir. 👇

Publishers

If any book enthusiast knows the e-mail addresses of publishers who publish satirical novels and essays and would like to write, I would be happy. It can be published in English, German, French, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Spanish, but I translate from Turkish to English.

Investment or Failure?

The stockbroker is a partner of the company in proportion to his share, he must receive at least ninety percent of the net profit. If an investor can't earn dividends equal to the annual inflation rate every year with the money he invests in stocks, then it is not investment but a failure, because he is pinning his hopes on speculation for real profit.

My opinion

I think the Turkish stock market, VIOP, warrant and forex market are managed by a single source. I understood this formation years ago, the few weeks of increase in 2019 was an exception and was widespread, apart from that, BIST was pulled up by high-weight stocks in the index, the overwhelming majority of the others made losses according to real inflation. Do stocks that have made ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred times the premium in USD terms constantly increase? The billionaire stockbroker should have realized the profit and switched to the ones that remained cheap, but that did not happen at all. In that case, a single company controls this world, since the stockbroker can't sell at a loss, his money is used as interest-free loans. The people are robbed in devaluations that are made at certain intervals, if the Turkish Lira were traded in forex, this suffering would end, the Turkish people would be relieved. I am not claiming that the stock market is subsidized by money printed in the mint, some people understand it that way, however, I developed a thesis with my intelligence. I can list many stocks here that are close to their historical lows in USD terms, moreover, some of them are included in very strong holding companies and are shown among bright companies. The abnormal increase in newly offered companies despite such a terrible environment also confirms me. These are my personal views, I have no proof!

Clear the left lane, rambo is coming!

Starting from October 29, 2024, which is the start of my credit card's new accounting period, I will become a member of a gym for six months, and as I wrote in my book, I will have the best body and abdominal muscles that can be built naturally at this age with weights and diet. Clear the left lane, rambo is coming!

The dumbest guys

The dumbest guys I've ever seen were stockbrokers. Is it a coincidence?

This is my job

I rob those who rob people in real life in the virtual world, that's how I earn my living, as you can see, I swindle billionaires.

Geç saatlere kadar uykusuz kalmak ve kendi kendine konuşmak dışında bende bu özelliklerin hepsi var, dağınık ortamda değil de çok sade bir mekanda yaşıyorum, bir yatak, bir de koltuk yetiyor. Acaba dahi miyim? 🤭👇

Vestel gibi dev firma tarihinde sadece 2021 yılında temettü dağıtmış, onu da üç taksitte ödemiş. Yuh!

Tazminatör Mourinho açıkça yalan konuşmuş, bu ülkede en çok Fenerbahçe kayırılıyor👇

Jose Mourinho, İngiliz basınından TNT'ye verdiği röportajda Fenerbahçe'nin son 10 yılda hakemler nedeniyle şampiyon olamadığını ileri sürdü: "Son maçımız 2-2 berabere bitti! Yediğimiz o golü, bu ligde sadece Fenerbahçe yerdi. Sadece Fenerbahçe! Başka bir takım, yarıştığımız rakibimiz o maçı 2-1 kazanırdı ve o gol geçersiz sayılırdı. Ancak Fenerbahçe'nin son on yıllık tarihi, iyi antrenörler, iyi oyuncular, çok özverili bir başkan ve yönetim kurulu... Hiçbir şey kazanamadılar. Bunun çok iyi bir sebebi var."

Where is the bravery?

There is a culture of treachery in fighting among us, no one attacks their opponent alone; they use piercing, cutting or firearms or beat one person with friends. There is dueling bravery among foreigners, I watched it in videos, they fight one-on-one and under equal conditions.

🤭🤭🤭

In Turkey, no one believes the inflation figures announced by the Turkish Statistical Institute at the end of each month, but everyone believes what official history has written centuries ago.

What is this called?

Municipalities and public institutions are establishing professional sports clubs, public money is being transferred to someone, and no one objects. I don't think there is such an application in any other country in the world other than Turkey.

As I walk around here on gloomy days, I remember the heroine in the novel The French Lieutenant's Woman.

Turkish League

The quality of Turkish football fans has also decreased because they can't see that the Turkish League is filled with the lowest quality or older players, they see their team in a big mirror. For example, Young Boys, who are the last in the Swiss League, crushed Galatasaray, the champion of the last two years.

What does an unemployed bourgeois child do?

Isn't it immoral for someone who has not been a licensed athlete to comment on sports? Correct me if I'm wrong, so I can learn.

Cicero

CİCERO’NUN CEMİYET TEORİSİ 1)Fakir, çalışır. 2)Zengin, sömürür. 3)Asker, her ikisini de korur. 4)Mükellef, üçü için öder. 5)Serseri, dördünün adına istirahat eder. 6)Ayyaş, beşi için içer. 7)Bankacı, ilk altıyı dolandırır. 8)Avukat, ilk yediyi kandırarak savunur. 9)Hekim, sekizini de öldürür. 10)Mezarcı, dokuzunu da gömer. 11)Politikacı, 10’lar sayesinde yaşar. C İ C E R O (M.Ö. 106 - 43)

Censorship

Censorship has reached its peak in Turkey. Yesterday, there was an attack on Tusaş in Ankara, all social media was blocked, it's ten o'clock, I couldn't get proper information about the incident.

A paragraph from the Horgeneral

When I arrived at the stadium, I said to the officer at Gate A, “Brother, my mother just got sick and was taken to the emergency room, her condition has become urgent, she was already partially paralyzed, she could die at any moment. It is our duty to take care of her, I want to inform my brother who is inside. The rascal has a season ticket, he always sits in the same place. If you allow me, I will leave my ID card with you to get on the way back, I will get it back when I get back.” The kind-hearted officer said, “Oh, get well soon, I know the urban problems caused by lack of communication, since you should leave your ID and go in,” I was going inside, but I was going to the officer at Gate B to exit, “Brother, I parked my car in the wrong place in the chaos, the police may give me a ticket or tow. If you give me five minutes, I will park in a proper place and come back,” I said. When the officer said, “Okay,” I was going out, I stopped by the officer at Gate A again and said, “Brother, unfortunately I could not find my brother, can you give me my ID card?” Of course, I would take my ID and enter through Gate B with my arms and legs waving. If I weren’t a match addict, I could have survived this dishonor. How? Who died from double exaggeration? This time, if I had said to the attendant at Gate C, “Brother, I suffer from high blood pressure, I think it has reached nineteen, my vision is going black. I need to go to a competent internist’s office, I have a herniated disc and I walk around without a corset. Poverty has bent my back. If you do your brother a favor, the money I paid for the ticket won’t be wasted. I could have sold it to one of the people in the queue on the black market, but I tore it up. Let me go, the next fan will pay me the fee he would have paid the attendant at the ticket booth in cash, the fractional amount is yours, okay, my beautiful brother?” If I had said, the attendant would have probably believed my lie and said, “Okay, don’t worry, don’t forget to drink sour lemon, may God grant you a speedy recovery.” However, I did not condescend to this playfulness; watching the matches for free was more than enough for me. As a result, the bill for my food and drinks at Ibrahim's pub was a drop in the ocean compared to the amount I had to pay for the match tickets. Not to mention the fact that he kept my dress in a safe wardrobe, my patent leather shoes and silk socks on the shelf of the silver dresser, and my condom in the drawer of the safe! If an auctioneer had seen the locked safe, he would have thought we were hiding the empress's ruby ring.

X, facebook, instagram gibi platformlara erişim

Tusaş'a saldırı yapılmış, sosyal medya erişime kapatılmış, bir tek burası çalışıyor. Yasaklardan illallah dedim, bir ülke bulsam da kapağı atsam, sadece edebiyata odaklansam, şu şeylerin şeyliklerinden kurtulsam diyorum.

My story with Coni

When I was a freshman in high school, I determined emigration as my greatest ideal and I didn’t even marry the girl I fell in love with. Then, in my third year as a captain, I retired due to disability due to a report of middle ear calcification, but no country wanted Turks, there were no countries where you could travel without a visa, in the winter of 2004 I bought a pair of canaries, then I mated them, in the spring of 2005, they had a lot of babies, I kept Coni, one of the five babies in the first litter, and sold the others. Coni’s cage was always open, over time he got used to me, we wrote the books together, sometimes he slept, sometimes he shit on my clothes, that’s how we lived. It is known and written that the maximum lifespan of a canary is 7-9 years, when Coni was eight years old I sold my house, I prepared to go abroad, but ours must have drunk a potion, he lived a long time, when he was in his last fifteen months, he had cataracts in both eyes, he went blind, I did not leave the house for exactly fifteen months, I fed him by hand all day, he passed away in my hands on Sunday morning, a month and a half before his sixteenth birthday. I buried him in the place I had previously determined, applied for a passport, bought a plane ticket to Belgrade, Serbia, one of the visa-free countries, for March 30, 2020, I informed the landlord that another tenant could enter as of April 1, 2020, but the coronavirus resurfaced, all flights were canceled, I traveled from city to city after that day. Now I have started translating my works into English, if I can find a publisher for one of them, I will achieve all my goals, I will settle in a modern country, I will write until my last breath.

Akvaryumdan güzel bir doğa var

Geographical regions

Geographical regions in Turkey are named incorrectly. Kırklareli and Istanbul should have been Western Black Sea, what we now call Western Black Sea should have been called Central Black Sea.

Azersat

I couldn't find a satellite technician to install Azersat satellite with LNB and equipment, I'm still looking.

Crazy question

Recently, a young female referee and an older referee were sacked after images of them having sex were leaked online. Could she have done the same with other people in the football community?

The state protects the citizen

Like the reinsurance company in insurance, there is a guarantor in betting, and it determines the odds. After the betting company called iddaa was privatized in Turkey, the odds were reduced a lot, and betting on foreign sites was also banned.